Odd Dream
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
I had a very odd and interesting dream the other night.
I was in my brother’s old Honda Prelude... (that’s what it looked like – it was a white sports-like car) and I was about to drive onto the driveway of my old house. I lived in that house for 15 years or so, from grade 4 to 1st or 2nd year in university. The house had no lights on – everything was black, it was foggy and rainy out. Before proceeding up the driveway, I saw a flashlight rolling down the driveway… it’s the same flashlight my Dad has, and the same one we still have. I got out of the car and picked up the flashlight and switched it on, then proceed to walk up the driveway and towards the garage – the garage door was opened but completely black. Then I woke up!
I asked a friend of mine who is really good at analyzing dreams, and she told me that I was trying to escape or move away from my past so that it would NOT happen again! If I was walking towards the front door, then it would mean I was searching for something in the past and confronting it at the same time, however, since it was the garage, apparently that means I’m trying to get away from it! The garage is an escape… much like when you go into the garage and get into your car and drive off.
Interesting fact… most of the hurt in my personal life happened while I lived there. I don’t want to remember everything that happened, I'VE DEALT WITH IT - ALL THAT SHIT AND IN MY OWN WAY – I guess that’s why I didn’t walk towards the door. I dealt with EVERYTHING a long time ago, and I WON'T HAVE MY PAST REPEAT ITSELF! So far, so good!
I do have a lot of wisdom with my 33 years and 5 ft 1 3/4 inch body!! Unfortunately, some friends have no clue how much! You just have to read my eyes when things happen... they do say a lot and they never lie!
Another interesting fact, my brother owned a white Honda Prelude while we lived there, and I didn’t own a car! I always wanted to drive that damn car!
One more interesting fact... the flashlight was the only thing that was REALLY CLEAR in my dream… everything thing else was unfocused.
Odd yet interesting!
I was in my brother’s old Honda Prelude... (that’s what it looked like – it was a white sports-like car) and I was about to drive onto the driveway of my old house. I lived in that house for 15 years or so, from grade 4 to 1st or 2nd year in university. The house had no lights on – everything was black, it was foggy and rainy out. Before proceeding up the driveway, I saw a flashlight rolling down the driveway… it’s the same flashlight my Dad has, and the same one we still have. I got out of the car and picked up the flashlight and switched it on, then proceed to walk up the driveway and towards the garage – the garage door was opened but completely black. Then I woke up!
I asked a friend of mine who is really good at analyzing dreams, and she told me that I was trying to escape or move away from my past so that it would NOT happen again! If I was walking towards the front door, then it would mean I was searching for something in the past and confronting it at the same time, however, since it was the garage, apparently that means I’m trying to get away from it! The garage is an escape… much like when you go into the garage and get into your car and drive off.
Interesting fact… most of the hurt in my personal life happened while I lived there. I don’t want to remember everything that happened, I'VE DEALT WITH IT - ALL THAT SHIT AND IN MY OWN WAY – I guess that’s why I didn’t walk towards the door. I dealt with EVERYTHING a long time ago, and I WON'T HAVE MY PAST REPEAT ITSELF! So far, so good!
I do have a lot of wisdom with my 33 years and 5 ft 1 3/4 inch body!! Unfortunately, some friends have no clue how much! You just have to read my eyes when things happen... they do say a lot and they never lie!
Another interesting fact, my brother owned a white Honda Prelude while we lived there, and I didn’t own a car! I always wanted to drive that damn car!
One more interesting fact... the flashlight was the only thing that was REALLY CLEAR in my dream… everything thing else was unfocused.
Odd yet interesting!
Question to Self...
Monday, January 24, 2005
Do I want to play second fiddle, or not play in the band at all?
I wanna play, and be part of his life.
I’m independent enough that it wouldn’t bother me, and my eyes are WIDE open… but I’m not sure if he wants to play the same song.
Then again, how would he know what song I like to play… he’s never asked me …I wish he would have asked what I want(ed)… perhaps he just doesn’t care to hear it!
*sigh*
I wanna play, and be part of his life.
I’m independent enough that it wouldn’t bother me, and my eyes are WIDE open… but I’m not sure if he wants to play the same song.
Then again, how would he know what song I like to play… he’s never asked me …I wish he would have asked what I want(ed)… perhaps he just doesn’t care to hear it!
*sigh*
THE OLD ME IS OUT - THE NEW ME IS IN!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Starting in February – I’m going back to the gym (I took a sabbatical from the gym for a few months). I just don’t feel the same - spinning took my mind off things and I just FELT BETTER! My goal for this year is to complete the spinning marathon at the gym this summer – I think it’s 6 hours… or maybe it’s 8… (I hope it’s not 8!). Going to get a personal trainer for a few months, just enough to see a significant change in my body, mainly more definition in the abs and arms. I hate doing crunches and sit-ups… so I’m thinking, if someone is right there yelling at me to keep going – well, at least I’ll do them. Then I’ll go on from there.
I’m finding myself more adventurous… in all areas of my life and looking ahead – not back! Lost my sense of worth for a while... well, now I’m back! Better, stronger with a new attitude! I’m appreciating things more… people – more importantly! I’ve learned a lot from the people that have left, I’m learning more from the new people in my life, and for those that have stuck around me - I appreciate and love them more. I’m still the same in many ways, yet different.
Independence is a sign of strength – seems like I have the strength, so now I need the independence ( and a HUGE bed... :^p ). I’ve been talking to a friend who is in real estate – starting to seriously look for a place of my own. It's time to move!
I hope you like the NEW me... if not... TOUGH!
I’m finding myself more adventurous… in all areas of my life and looking ahead – not back! Lost my sense of worth for a while... well, now I’m back! Better, stronger with a new attitude! I’m appreciating things more… people – more importantly! I’ve learned a lot from the people that have left, I’m learning more from the new people in my life, and for those that have stuck around me - I appreciate and love them more. I’m still the same in many ways, yet different.
Independence is a sign of strength – seems like I have the strength, so now I need the independence ( and a HUGE bed... :^p ). I’ve been talking to a friend who is in real estate – starting to seriously look for a place of my own. It's time to move!
I hope you like the NEW me... if not... TOUGH!
A bit more about myself…
Saturday, January 01, 2005
I have no illusions about my imperfections, no political persuasion and a “not so structured” belief in religion. My imagination is my cathedral, and I see God in the stories.
I fancy the idea that we are not alone in this universe, and I swear by angels, ghosts and other worldly beings I cannot see. I think life is the goof of all time, mercifully absent of meaning; a winding road lined with blessings and curses that lead to nowhere, except maybe, immortality.
I am lofty or goofy at times.
I fancy the idea that we are not alone in this universe, and I swear by angels, ghosts and other worldly beings I cannot see. I think life is the goof of all time, mercifully absent of meaning; a winding road lined with blessings and curses that lead to nowhere, except maybe, immortality.
I am lofty or goofy at times.
I do love listening to people that have more opinions and philosophies than most others care to hear and comfortably consider. And, more so, I love analyzing reactions when others listen to someone who has the strength to say the things the others only tend to think.
I’d be lying to myself if I wrote that I don't give much thought to yesterday, and I don't worry about tomorrow – but I do…, to some extent.
For those of you in my life, you’re there for a reason! I value all my friendships, and for those who have turned out to be less than a friend – I have learned and grown from knowing you.